


Libreto de Siempre, Tan Repetido

by Safe_urself_kill_em_all



Series: Between Spanish Words of Love [1]
Category: Casino Royale (2006), Confessions of a Shopaholic (2009)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Card Games, Heavy Angst, Jean is Le Chiffre's real name, Jean is an idiot, M/M, money struggles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-24 02:59:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6139012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Safe_urself_kill_em_all/pseuds/Safe_urself_kill_em_all
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean has run out of luck in the games, he's loosing more and more money every day, and every day he's trying again. It wasn't about winning, it was a matter of pride now. A sick obsession. An addiction.<br/>Luke wants his husband back. He knows what he does, and it hurts him seeing Jean come home with that mad look that tells him he lost again. They're running out of money, Jean is selling and betting their things out of despair.<br/>Luke is getting sick of it. That's not the man he fell in love with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I love angst. The title means "Same script, always the same" and if you wanna feel it more depressing listen to the song "Corre!" By Jesse & Joy. It's a Spanish song but the lyrics aren't really that important.  
> Also I read somewhere in tumblr that Le Chiffre's real name was Jean so I worked with that.  
> Also, I did this when I couldn't sleep so I hope it's not too bad.

When Luke wakes up, Jean isn't there.

  
He's kind of used to it by now, but he still misses those days when Jean would spoon him from behind and wake him up with kisses against his neck and soft touches on his skin. Misses making love in the morning just before he realizes he's going to be late again for work and rushing out the door.

  
They never had struggles with money until Jean began playing cards. He thinks Luke doesn't know where he spends most of they day in. He knows because he smells of cigarettes he doesn't smoke and cheap alcohol.

  
Jean tells him he will soon find a job. He will help him soon. And Luke knows Jean is doing what he is doing to help him. But since his accident he can't play the same as he used to. He can't get the money he used to get -Illegally, Luke knows.

  
He ran out of luck and it's starting to affect them.

  
He eats his breakfast alone - a cup of cheap coffee - and dresses for work. The magazine is doing great, he's getting paid well, but sometimes Jean will need money and he will give him. Jean never asks for it, he never has. Luke just shoves an envelope with money in it every now and then, just because he know right now Jean needs him, just like he needed him when they first met.

  
Jean says thank you, smiles warmly at him, and, for a moment, Luke feels like everything will be alright. They would kiss, grasp, undress each other. They would make love slowly until Jean got a call at unholy hours of the morning and would leave him before the sun would rise. Another game is on.

  
Last night Luke caught Jean taking one of his watches - an old thing Jean never wears anymore - and putting it in his pocket. Luke closes his eyes and pretends to sleep. Jean would kiss him goodbye and leave with the hope that this would be a good day.

  
And so it began.

   
Small things would begin to disappear. Luke tries to not notice it at first. But soon he notices Jean's wardrobe is smaller than it was two months ago. His watches are missing - not a single one is left -, his cuff links as well.

  
Soon Luke's things began missing too. Jean would ask him about some watch he gave him on his birthday, some necklace, some jacket, just to "have a look at him" and Luke would say nothing and give it to him, already mentally saying goodbye to it.

  
Jean comes home at night, they barely see each other. Luke tells him, and Jean assures him it's only temporal. Things will soon get better. Tells him to be strong, that they will get out of this together.

  
Luke is getting sick of all this.

  
Sometimes - tough just a few - Jean would come with a smile and some money. They would use it to pay the bills, then save the rest if there was some left.

  
His mother calls him sometimes too, asks him if he's okay. Somehow she already knows about his struggles - she always knows - and offers him money if he works for her, leaving his ridiculous business magazine. He hangs up almost immediately.

  
p He stays awake, doing numbers on the small - almost tiny - dinner table.  
When the numbers start failing he finally breaks. And the hope slowly fades away.  
He strokes his wedding ring, seeking some comfort as he always does when things goes wrong, and assures himself he can handle a little longer.

  
When Jean comes in with a swollen eye, bloody tears streaming down his face and a split lip, Luke just knows he shouldn't ask and just goes and cleans the bleeding cuts, gives him an ice pack for his eye, a kiss to his forehead and goes to sleep early, even if he doesn't have to work tomorrow.

  
He just doesn't want to deal with this shit right now. He's too tired.

  
He strokes his ring - he never takes it off - again before falling asleep.

  
He never notices Jean coming in, doesn't stir when Jean strokes his hair lovingly. Doesn't hear his quiet sobs prying for forgiveness.

  
And of course, he doesn't notice when skilled fingers slide the gold ring off his own finger.

  
When Luke wakes up the next day, he feels something is missing. Something big. Something important.

  
It isn't until he seeks for his ring in concern that he notices it. His eyes fill with tears when he looks down at his ring finger, with a patch of lighter skin where his wedding ring used to be.  
He can't take this anymore.

  
He calls Rebeca - his best friend - and tells him between sobs he needs somewhere to stay. Rebecca tells him to come immediately.

  
He grabs a suitcase and fills it with what he has left. It isn't much. He gives a small smile when he thinks that as soon as Rebecca sees his suitcase she will take him shopping. Even if he doesn't have any money. He cries all the way while packing his stuff. He remembers all the good things Jean and him passed in this small house. Remembers how Jean carried him bridal style after their honeymoon and made love as soon as they had assembled the bed. He passes by the kitchen and sees the black spot in the floor, from the time Jean was cooking and Luke hugged him from behind, startling the cook and somehow managing to make a small fire on the floor.

  
He remember watching movies until past midnight, in a large TV that isn't there anymore.  
He hears Rebecca's car outside and snaps out of his old memories. He takes a piece of paper, writes something down quickly with a marker and hurries without looking back. Puts his suitcase in the trunk and gets inside.

  
Rebecca is kind enough to not ask what's wrong and drives away.

* * *

  
With shaky hands Jean puts the gold wedding ring in the middle of the poker table, guilt heavy in his stomach and bitter in his mouth. He know if he looses this Luke will never forgive him.  
He's sacrificed enough. He had become obsessed with playing. Always used to win and now shocked to loose all the time. He's lost all the money they had saved. As Le Chiffre he had a lot of money, but after his encounter with James fucking Bond -what Luke believes was an accident - and after almost dying of a bullet to the head - which put him in a coma for a few weeks - he had lost almost all of it. He had a small fortune left still. He moved to New York, met Luke, fell in love, married and bought the house as a gift for his now husband.

  
Oh how he loves Luke. Luke who has done nothing but support him every day of the miserable life Jean has been giving him for the lasts months. Luke who gives him money with the hope he will win someday. Luke who always hopes he will get his luck back.

  
He promises himself, if he makes it out of this, he will make it up to his husband dearly.

  
Le Chiffre makes his bet. Bluffs. When he notices he is starting to loose - again - he sees Luke's disappointed blue eyes in his head, filled with tears. Soon he has a small headache in the middle of the game, but when his head clears he can see the numbers in front of him. Letting him know how easy it is to win, He plays to win this time and shows his cards. He looks around, and his eyes widen.

  
He won.

  
It was a large sum of money.

  
And most important of all, he didn't loose the ring.

  
For the first time in a while, he leaves the place with a true smile in his face, money in his bank account, no bruises and a gift for his beloved.

* * *

  
When he enters the house, he finds it empty. For a moment he thinks Luke is still working but he knows today is his day off. He runs around the house, noticing Luke's clothes and stuff - he didn't have much, and Jean notices how much he crossed the line - are gone, so is the suitcase they keep under the bed.

  
He rushes outside, finds the note in the back of the front door, reads it and crushes it in his fist while crying:

  
_Hope it gave you luck, as it didn't give any luck to me anymore._  
 _I love you, truly.  
Luke_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean decides to find Luke and apologize, but first he has to figure out where he is.

Jean hadn't heard a word from Luke in weeks, he missed his husband dearly - hell, were they even still married? - and wondered everyday if he would see him ever again. Yes, he knew he had screwed up, he knew Luke deserved better - and it would be a total lie to say that the best was Jean himself - but he had always been selfish. He missed seeing his sleepy face and blue eyes in the morning when they woke up; missed kissing his pink lips until they were swollen. Missed his sole presence that would bright his world instantly with just a smile.

  
When his luck - actually his good mind for maths - got back, he made more money. He got his bank back in a matter of days. He gave life to the house again,cut the thing h knew Luke liked, bought the things he had taken from his lover - who had just given them up without complain - again, with the thought that when he came back they could start again, go back to how things were.

  
Bu Luke never came. Jean wore his ring - the ring he took from him - to reassure himself Luke still loved him. It made him almost feel like he was in the same room with Jean.

  
It was in the middle of the second week that he realized it was stupid of him to wait for him to come back. He had hurt him after all. Of course he wouldn't come back unless he apologized.  
So Jean started looking for him.

  
First he went for the magazine, Luke wouldn't quit his job now that he was the boss, and he loved his job.

  
He wore a pair of sunglasses to hide his damaged eye also If Luke saw him hopefully he wouldn't recognise him.

  
He knew when he felt a pencil hit the back of his head that he had made a big mistake in coming here.

  
Soon it was followed by an eraser - ok, that hurt - and then a crushed post it. A pink post it. When he turned he caught the sight of a bright pink laptop and a coat as well.

  
He walked confidently towards Rebeca Bloomwood's desk, ignoring the sharp sting of an elastic band hitting his neck or the confused looks that the people on their own desks were giving them - that small woman at the reception desk almost melted him with her murderous glare, so she must be a friend of Luke's too - and met her murderous glare.

  
"What are you doing here, asshole?"

  
"Where is Luke?" He asked straight to the point.

  
"Why do you want to know?" The woman from the front desk asked suddenly at his back. He closed his and sighed in defeat, knowing right away that this wouldn't be as private as he wanted this to be.

  
"I want to apologize"

  
"Why would he want you to apologize?" A confused man said from his desk. Before Jean could even answer the man that it was not his business Rebecca answered.

  
"He is the asshole who broke Luke's heart" the gasp the whole room gave was a little dramatic. As were the following pencils and crushed post-its trowed at his direction.

  
"How dare you?" Someone shouted.  _It was my fault, I know._

  
"Poor Luke" _I know_

  
"He loved you!" _I love him still_.

  
"He gave everything for you!" _I know._

"You don't deserve him!" _I know!_

  
"Enough!" He roared "you think I don't know? Yes, it was my fault! Yes, I know I hurt him! Yes, I know I don't deserve him! But I love him! And I will do everything in my power to get his forgiveness!"

  
"Then you came here for nothing" Rebecca spoke.

  
"What?"

  
"He left last week. He didn't quit, he asked to be moved"

  
"Did he say where would he go?"

  
"Yes"

  
"But you won't tell me"

  
"Oh, yes. I will" she stood, and even if he was taller than her by almost a head, he felt like he was the petite one of the two of them "but if I ever hear word that you screwed up again, God forbid you, I will find you, and I will kill you. Capiche?" He gulped loudly and nodded. "Good. He is with his brother in London."

  
"Will is residing in London?"

  
"Yeah, his husband has a house and Luke didn't want to see his mother, so he is staying with them for a while "

  
"Do you have  the address? " 

****

* * *

  
He took the first plane ticket to London, booked a hotel close to Will and Hannibal's cottage and rehearsed what was he going to say.   
When he got to his hotel room it was dark already. He was just passing the lobby to go and eat something when he saw him.

The resemblance was unbelievable. The curls. The eyes. The slim figure. The little girl on his arms the only thing that could help him tell the difference.

  
He almost called out the wrong name.

  
"Will" the man turned and his eyebrows raised in surprise at first but the furrowed in anger and recognition. Will hugged the 3 year old girl closer to his chest and walked to him.   
"What are you doing here, Jean?" He said blankly.

  
"You know what I am doing here" He replied, eyeing the little girl. "I know he is with you" Will's eyes darkened, the little girl feeling her father's distress and staying calm as if knowing it could only make it worse. He walked closer until his face was just inches apart from his, and Jean might be taller than him by some inches but for the second time that week, Jean felt the petite one of the two.

  
"Give one reason why shouldn't I cut your throat right this very moment" He whispered.  
"Luke wouldn't forgive you"

  
"He would, with time. And some manipulation" He sounded so serious Jean feared for his life for a second.

  
"You're on the run. You kill me now, make your little display, you will have to run again. Am I wrong?"

  
"I could make you dissappear. No one would miss you" He kissed the little girl's forehead - a strange display of affection coming from the bloodthirsty beast towards its cub - and his sky blue eyes focused on his own brown eyes.

  
"And yet I am still standing here. Alive and kicking. Why?"

  
"Because Luke still loves you. And I hate seeing my own suffering like that" He sounded tired, as if his brother's suffering was also his. Probably was.

  
"I want to see him"

  
"You are an idiot" He spat.

  
"I know. Please save me the whole speech. There is a child present" Will's eyes softened and sighed in defeat.

  
"You may see him tomorrow, after lunch. I will take Hannibal and Mischa to the park. You will have the house for yourself" He shifted his little girl - Jeans a Luke's _niece_ \- to his other arm and turned to leave " Oh and Jean, please don't screw this up, please. Or I will truly kill you" then he walked away. Jean sighed. 

"Get in the line" 

* * *

  
After lunch, Jean stood in the front door of the little Graham-Lecter cottage. He took a deep breath and knocked the door.

  
When Luke - he barely could tell between the two brothers, but it was the eyes that helped him - opened the door, Jean felt another sting of guilt.

  
Luke seemed thinner, there were dark circles under his eyes and he was paler than the last time he saw his husband. God, all he wanted right now was to hug him and tell him everything would be alright. So much like the lies he had told just before loosing him.

  
"Jean" Luke gasped

  
"Good evening, Luke" He breathe. God, he had missed him.

  
"What are you doing here?" His voice sounded tight.

  
"I came to apologize" so Rebecca had given him some advice, which was pretty humiliating, but he was willing to try everything. And so he fell to his knees in the front door. He was kind of glad this cottage was far from any curious neighbors.

  
"Jean, please get up"

  
"I'm sorry" He continued anyway "I can't begin to describe how horribly I had hurt you. I can't imagine what kind of hell I made you pass through to make you leave"

  
"You took everything. And I didn't care. I swear" Luke pulled him up and pushed him inside, closing the door behind them. "Why I left. It was stupid"

  
"No. It wasn't stupid. I made you suffer and you left. I truly understand. And it wasn't your fault" He reassured Luke, cupping his face with both husbands and stroking his cheeks gently "it was mine"

  
"You took my ring. And I got upset" He choked out "I wanted to go back. But I was scared you would be upset with me"

  
"No. No, love" He cooed "I was never mad. Just sad. I was stupid and childish because I couldn't win a single game. Hush, darling, it wasn't your fault" He wiped away the tears that fell down his cheeks.

  
"I just wanted all to go back to normal. I hated it when they hurt you, knowing I couldn't do anything to help you. I was sick of it. Tired. Oh, I was so tired" and Jean did what he so much craved to do. He closed his arms around his love and let him sob against his chest. Jean didn't have words to describe how much he hates himself for making Luke cry like this.

  
"I swear to God, Luke, everything will be better" between tears Luke managed to let out a huff.  
"That's exactly what you said, some time ago. Exactly the same words" he gritted between teeth "the same script, always the same"

  
"You don't understand, love" Jean pleaded, noticing his mistake "I fixed everything. Got everything back, all the things I took from you-"

  
"Please, don't waste money you don't have"

  
"I have the money" and damn. How much those words sounded like the time he had agent Bond tied to a chair and a gun aimed at his head "I even got the bank back. I have a job. I promised you I would get job"

  
"You still think I'm stupid, don't you?" Luke said out of the blue. He looked furious.

  
"What?"

  
"I know what you do for a living, Jean. I married you knowing it" he sighed defeated.   
"And yet, you never said a word about i-"

  
"Because I didn't think it should ever change how I felt about you! I trusted you to never mix that side of you. I guess I was wrong"

  
"Luke, please-"

  
"I want the divorce"


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big brother Will gives some advice to little Luke about love and second chances.  
> And also there is a dog.

Jean felt like his world was falling apart. Out of despair he cornered Luke against a wall, arms at each side of his head. Luke wouldn't meet his eyes.

  
"Love" he called softly "darling, please look at me" with one of his hands he caressed Luke's curls "Luke, please look at me" with the same hand he tilted Luke's head by his chin, and wet blue eyes met his brown eyes, a bloody tear and a real one running down his cheeks "look at me and tell me you don't miss me, look at me and tell me you don't love me, then I'll leave. I promise"

  
"You know I still love you" Luke, out of habit, wiped the bloody tear away. 

  
"Then why-" Jean leaned in the touch slightly. 

  
"How can you assure me this won't happen again? How can I know there won't be another agent after you, and then after me?" Luke quickly retrieves his hand in regret. 

  
"How do you-?"

  
"Will and Hannibal" he answers simply "Hannibal knows things and tells Will. Will tells me"  
"Are you aware that-"

  
"That Hannibal is a serial killer? Sure. That my brother is one too? Absolutely. That my husband used - and I'm pretty sure still does - finance terrorist groups and such? Yes. And I didn't give a single fuck about it" Jean flinched. Luke hates swearing.

  
"Please, Luke, come home. With me. We can start again"

  
"You promised if I told you I loved you, you would leave. Now leave. Don't break another promise" Jean sighed defeated. 

"Alright love. If you change your mind, Will knows where I'm staying. I love you, don't ever forget it" he kissed Luke on his cheek and closed the door behind him.

* * *

"It must come from family uh?" Will said later, sitting at the back porch while looking out to his daughter playing with their brand new Golden Retriever puppy "My husband is a serial killer, and yours... Finances terrorist groups" Luke chuckled slightly. Will smiled triumphant "guess we are catnip for criminals"

 

"Do you believe I should go back with him?" Will sighed.

  
"Well, you are my little brother-"

  
" Just by two minutes, Will"

  
"Anyway, you're still my little brother. So I must protect you. And Le Chiffre-sorry, Jean, is the kind of guy who would kill and die for you, just like my husband"

  
"What if this happens again? What if another agent tries to kill him or take him away from me? What if he starts loosing again?"

  
"Then you protect him. Kill another man for him, and we will hide the body again"

  
Luke remembers that, he went to one of Jean's games after the accident, when he still had some luck left on him. Will had taught him how to defend himself, at first as a joke - "in case that Le Chiffre crosses the line" he had said - and there was a man pouring poison in Jean's glass. Luke, on instinct raised from his seat and "accidentally" bumped the waiter with the drinks, the glasses falling and crashing on the floor. The man then followed him furious, maybe to use him as bait. Luke isn't sure how it happened, but soon he was behind the man and then his head was between his hand and then there was the loud crack of a snapped neck. Luke called Will afterwards, he came and took the body away.

  
"-and if he hurts you again, you tell us and we will hunt down his sorry ass" Luke laughed this time.

  
"Do you think I should give him a second chance?"

  
"I think life is full of second chances. And I believe you love him. I loved Hannibal even after all of what he did to me. Now look, I'm happier than ever. I have a daughter and a dumb dog" Luke flinched slightly when said dumb dog ran nose first into a tree "He will be alright don't worry"

  
"The Important question here is" came Hannibal's voice from the door at their backs, looking also to his beautiful daughter "are you going to let his love go to waste?"

* * *

 ** _Knock knock_**  

Jean ignored the broken lamp on the floor he broke in rage earlier while he ran to open the door. He felt his heart in his mouth, threatening to pump out of his body, at the thought of who might be behind that door. He was closer and closer to get his life back that he coul almost taste it.

He promised himself, in those few seconds that lasted his trip to the door, that he would never let Luke go ever again. Never would hurt him again. He knew what would happen as soon as he made another mistake, and was willing to pay for his crimes against his love with blood. There was, after all, a lot of people waiting for him to make a mistake and ready to spill his blood. 

When he finally opened the door, he breathed out in relief when he saw Luke standing there. He seemed nervous, almost anxious, but raised his eyes to meet his, and a tiny smile formed on his lips at the same moment a bloody tear ran down Jean's damaged eye.

They weren't sure who made the first move, but soon Jean had Luke in his arms and was kissing the breath out of him.

  
"God, I missed you" Luke whimpered against his lips. "Please never do something like that again"

  
"I promise you, love. It will all be better now. I promise" and between kisses and gasps, they fell to the bed.

  
They still had thing to talk about, issues to solve and figure out.

  
But they could pretend it would all be alright.

  
Just for now.

  
**_The end._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it. It was a good ride, and I still think the ending isn't quite good but I wanted to finish this already. I hope my English didn't make it worse.  
> Until another story :*

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: the title and the story was inspired by the same song. It has the most depressing video ever, and I was feeling melancholic. Besides, I was going to make it a Hannigram but I thought the role of the poker addict was good for Le Chiffre instead. Maybe I will do another chapter, but I'm not sure what to put in it.


End file.
